Sometimes... I Really Miss Living Alone
Granted, there are some great benefits to living with others, (we have a cook, a great lawn care technician, a computer whiz/mechanic -don’t ask, we all have our domestics roles and we’re happy with them. Not to mention that between the three of us, we have a very nice home instead of three crappy apartments) but still, there are those times that I miss the privacy of having my own crappy little apartment.
Yes privacy. And this coming from a blogger...
But let’s put that aside for now.
One of my most cherished rituals is having a cocktail and listening to music, on my headphones, loud. The other is sitting back and talking silly shit with a close friend over a nice convenience store cappuccino.
While living alone, I could enjoy the first with no telephone interruptions, no fear of criticism, and no surprize attacks by well meaning "guests". But now, no matter how loud I play my music, I can still hear them banging on the door (if not coming straight in and scaring the crap out of me because I forgot to lock it) wanting me to answer the phone or come down for some sort of "family meeting". It seems that no matter how many measures I take to insure privacy, they will defy it.
As for the second, it’s to the point now that I can’t even spend time with my one dear friend, because I'm being drained by people who just seem to want to... Well... Drain.
I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t recall signing up for all of this. I didn’t have kids, and I'm not married for a reason. I don’t mind taking care of my Mother (why I’m even here) but I didn’t intend to be dealing with so many others. And I don’t know how to g e t t h e m away from me, if only for just a couple of hours a day so I can enjoy my own life.
Yes privacy. And this coming from a blogger...
But let’s put that aside for now.
One of my most cherished rituals is having a cocktail and listening to music, on my headphones, loud. The other is sitting back and talking silly shit with a close friend over a nice convenience store cappuccino.
While living alone, I could enjoy the first with no telephone interruptions, no fear of criticism, and no surprize attacks by well meaning "guests". But now, no matter how loud I play my music, I can still hear them banging on the door (if not coming straight in and scaring the crap out of me because I forgot to lock it) wanting me to answer the phone or come down for some sort of "family meeting". It seems that no matter how many measures I take to insure privacy, they will defy it.
As for the second, it’s to the point now that I can’t even spend time with my one dear friend, because I'm being drained by people who just seem to want to... Well... Drain.
I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t recall signing up for all of this. I didn’t have kids, and I'm not married for a reason. I don’t mind taking care of my Mother (why I’m even here) but I didn’t intend to be dealing with so many others. And I don’t know how to g e t t h e m away from me, if only for just a couple of hours a day so I can enjoy my own life.
posted by RT at 3:09 AM
10 Comments:
I can remember when I first moved out on my own, sans roommates. It felt weird, really, because there was no one around to hang out with.
But after a few weeks I realized bow much I really didn’t miss all the minor irritations that are always there.
Hang in there - it will come with time!
Rt- are you sure you aren't living in my house? (You could be in my son's room, it is such a mess, I am sure there are many living things in there, that can't find their way out) I am going through this right now as well. As you know my parents are living with me and I love them to death, but sometimes I just want a few minutes to myself. I feel very guilty about it, and I don't blog about it in case they are reading it. All I can say is that is empathize with you.
I blog about it though, all the time, and I hide out in our bedroom and my library, sneaking back and forth between the two. Although Josh's room is messy there is no way RT is hiding out in there, but if she wants to...
I find little escapes. Ok, I do live alone and I still get bugged by neighbors, telephone solicitors and the like but I learn to walk off for awhile. You may need to find a nice little bar and bring an iPod with you. And if you feel someone is about to drain your energy, compliment them. Sometimes that's the last thing they expect. B) Find your own escapes often.
Vavoom! Are you messing with me??? That's so not right! :o( If I could be alone long enough to meditate... LOL.
Teri and DDG, help! I'm under a pile of clothes near the end of the dresser! I slipped on something mushy and got my knee stuck in something sticky and now I can't get free! I tried calling out, but he threw those clothes on me...
OMG! There's something under here with me!!!!
OK Vavoom... I'll let you get by with that one ;o)
Unfortunately, 5 minutes of meditation doesn't work with me (maybe I'm an undiagnosed AADD case or something.) I've tried it, but it takes me more than 5 minutes to get all the thoughts (maybe I should have done this, said that, tried to understand arguments) out of my head. I know how crazy it sounds, but I really do need this down time. And as much as I love my fam, I just wish they would respect this one request.
RT- Are you still alive? Sending in the rescue squad... :)
RT - Ok don't panic, find one of the myriad of electrical or computer cords running throughout the room. Follow it until you get to a wall, you should now be able to stand up, move aside the various dishes and and old soda cans until you can see the TV. Its right next to the door, if you can open it, you're out.
Liv, I hear you! Though, I guess I've always lived with someone, so, I'm pretty much accustomed to it. Although, I do know that when no one is around I enjoy it. Except for my son of course. I miss him like a banshee when he's gone.
But, I've lived alone for a while and I've had roomates - a friend, a step-sister and a cousin. All at different times, but roomates nonetheless. Roomates are hard.
Sometime's you just have to get hard on them and say, "I need some ME time." They may feel unwanted, but, in the end, they'll realize that it's not a bad thing when it's "me" time they're wanting.
I was doing some midnight drives, which helped a lot, but I'm having some car problems here lately... Could be why I'm so stressed, I can't get out of the house.
Just to let y'alls know, I am by FAR the perfect roommate myself. I steal TP, leave my clothes in the dryer till someone else folds them, and I'm notorious for turning off lights (not good for the older ones here who tend to get disoriented in the dark.) I just need to vent every now and then, and I appreciate you listening. :o)
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