Thanks A Lot, Martin.
Well, since I'm getting no where fast with the video editing, I figured I would try my hand in the kitchen today to see if I'm any better at that. You see, I've been reading An80sNut's blog and with all of his post about cooking... I guess I just figured what the heck? If he can do it, I can do it. Right?
Wrong.
I attempted my first loaf of bread this morning, and quickly found out that hope don't make no loaf of bread. You actually have to have skills to do it! What kind of skills do you need? I don't know. I just know that I don't have them. I followed the directions on the bread maker to a "T", and followed the recipe just as closely, but I still ended up with a flat lump of hot dough.
What can I say? Martin, I tip my bra to you, buddy! You are the master! :o)
Wrong.
I attempted my first loaf of bread this morning, and quickly found out that hope don't make no loaf of bread. You actually have to have skills to do it! What kind of skills do you need? I don't know. I just know that I don't have them. I followed the directions on the bread maker to a "T", and followed the recipe just as closely, but I still ended up with a flat lump of hot dough.
What can I say? Martin, I tip my bra to you, buddy! You are the master! :o)
posted by RT at 4:23 PM
10 Comments:
Can we get a picture of that, please? :)
He means the tipping of the bra. B)
Bread is tough but shouldn't be. Yeast needs time to become active, the dough needs to me kneaded well to fold in oxygen for the little yeast creatures to start eating the gluten, cover with plastic wrap in a bowl to let it rise (double in size) and then punch it down kneading it once more. This way the yeast is active and will continue to make your dough rise when cooking. I started making bread with a mix of sourdough that I'd feed here and there and keep the bacteria growing and made my mistakes here and there. I'd start small and build up. B) Trying is important though.
The thing that Martin doesn't mention is you control yeast growth with salt and sugar. Salt to slow them down and sugar to rev them up. The byproduct they produce is carbon dioxide which makes those wonderful bubbles that make dough rise. If your dough isn't rising add more sugar. If it rises too much add a little salt. Thats all bread really is: flour, water, sugar, salt, yeast, and flavorings.
LOL My step-mother would make some great bread. It wasn't until the last few years that she used a bread machine. Before that she would use bread pans and spend an entire day making several loaves of bread, making the house smell heavenly. Its not an impossible thing to do...and I'd like a pic of the bra tipping as well ;)
OK.
First off: Chrissie, you're not making me feel any better, lol. It's bad enough that a guy is showing me up in the kitchen, but a 12 year old guy?!? Now I feel like a real doofus! :o)
Secondly, Jill: What are you doing tomorrow (Sat) evening? Come on over! I'll give it another shot... (And you can take the pic of me tipping my bra, seeing how no one else will.)
And for the rest of yens...
Martin: You went way over my head there, lol. Kneading? Oxygen? Gluten? Whaaaat??? Bacteria! Gross!
Davydgrey: What's up with that name??? Is it Davyd, or Davy D? I thought your name was Lloyd? Anyway. You made it sound a little easier, but I'm still not sure where I went wrong... The dough was coming along just fine when I opened it up to take a peek.
And Mike: DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL YOU'VE DONE IT! And even then, I don't want to hear about it... Cutie. Show me some more leg ;o)
(If I sound a little off, or stressed, or just plain crazy, please forgive me. I just found out that my 40 year old brother has a serious heart problem, and I'm not quite sure of how to handle it... And this coming just months after my sister's lung cancer scare. Talk about being new to something, I tell ya, I don't think I've ever realized just how mortal mortality is.
But please! No words... Just, you know, try to understand that I need to do a little adjusting...)
If at first you don't succeed...
Did anyone notice she avoided the bra-tipping subject entirely?
Yup, thanks for filling that in for me, Lloyd. B)
I didn't leave out the bra-tipping! I asked Jill to come over and take the pic for me, but she never called... :o(
The past few times I tried to make bread, I inevitably find a yeast packet that's been laying around the house for some indeterminate amount of time - BAD IDEA! It's gotta be fresh. I've gotten a brick everytime (and yes, one time I tried pimping it out with more sugar, etc. for more favorable bacterial growth, but no dice).
I figure, though, if I have to go to the store to buy yeast, I may as well buy a loaf of bread, or at worst, that premade-bake it stuff.
You have the right idea there, ES. After my failed attempt, my Uncle went to the bread store and bought a loaf of cheese bread (that's what I was trying to make,) and it was just as good as home baked after popping it in the microwave for half a sec...
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