Going Stir Crazy!
Retirement is not an option.
Well, it finally happened, my job officially ended Fri at 6pm. It is now Sun night and I’m already feeling the adverse effects. It’s weird, I knew I that would have a hard time with going from a 60+ hour work week to sitting around the house with all the time in the world, it would take some adjusting. I just didn’t think it would be this tough!
There are so many things I wanted to do before finding another job, but I can’t seem to get myself motivated enough to do anything. Is it depression? Or just laziness? It feels like laziness, but then again, it doesn’t. I have a million things going through my mind, I just can’t seem to get them organized into a game plan. Lack of focus maybe? That’s a possibility. When you have a paycheck coming in, it’s easy to excuse yourself for not spending your time wisely, you don’t really need to focus or justify yourself. When you’re jobless and sitting just around, taking time for yourself and trying to contemplate your dreams seems so incredibly wrong.
Is it depression?. That feeling of worthlessness? I don’t know, I know I contribute to society, but...
I guess I’m just not sure about my life at the moment and it’s a feeling I don’t feel comfortable with.
Any inspiring thoughts will be welcomed right about now!
Well, it finally happened, my job officially ended Fri at 6pm. It is now Sun night and I’m already feeling the adverse effects. It’s weird, I knew I that would have a hard time with going from a 60+ hour work week to sitting around the house with all the time in the world, it would take some adjusting. I just didn’t think it would be this tough!
There are so many things I wanted to do before finding another job, but I can’t seem to get myself motivated enough to do anything. Is it depression? Or just laziness? It feels like laziness, but then again, it doesn’t. I have a million things going through my mind, I just can’t seem to get them organized into a game plan. Lack of focus maybe? That’s a possibility. When you have a paycheck coming in, it’s easy to excuse yourself for not spending your time wisely, you don’t really need to focus or justify yourself. When you’re jobless and sitting just around, taking time for yourself and trying to contemplate your dreams seems so incredibly wrong.
Is it depression?. That feeling of worthlessness? I don’t know, I know I contribute to society, but...
I guess I’m just not sure about my life at the moment and it’s a feeling I don’t feel comfortable with.
Any inspiring thoughts will be welcomed right about now!
posted by RT at 2:41 AM
10 Comments:
As one who understands what you are going through, joblessness can allow for a LOT of internal growth....Well, so long as you have a bit of a nestegg, or some things that you can sell to make rent and your other bills. After having a job for the past 7 years (my entire adult life, and then some), I have found myself unemployed for the past couple of months. Not knowing your situation, I can say from my experience that even though my unemployment was unexpected, it did let me realize that I really wasn't happy with where my career life was going. Just don't overload yourself on 'to do' projects, cause then you will probably overdose on the thought, and stay in bed all day long watching daytime soaps, and playing video games (um...not that I would know anything about that....really)
Hiya Noer!
Thank you for responding to this entry. I've been away for awhile and I fear I've lost some of my regulars, so I really appreciate any feedback. It seems that in times of difficulty, it's hard to translate my feelings and because of that, my blog tends to get neglected.
But, moving on...
My nest egg is fairly secure, (with the line of work I'm in, I knew this would happen and I made provisions) it's basically the unlimited time that freaks me out. As much as I've prepared for this "sabbatical" I still haven't gotten the hang of it yet. I'm sure that will change in time (or at least, I hope it does!) In the mean time, I guess I'll just have to play along with my life's plan.
Internal growth is something I've always strived for (I absolutely LOVE that you pointed that out because it is something that is near and dear to my heart,) and trust me, I try to feel and live for every second of every day. That's why I started this diary, to remind myself, and maybe help others understand just how precious this life is, even when it's not going your way.
On the job scene, unfortunately, I have to deal with those who believe that joblessness = loser, and as much as I try to fight it, I'm still influenced by it. Although! I also have to admit that a lot of those opinions seem to be based on misunderstandings. When you're tied up in the cycle of "work to obtain more to keep up with the Jones's to work to obtain more" it's hard to see outside of that box. It's a trained response that I don't entirely agree with and when I find myself in the middle of it, I try to distance myself.
Oh man! I could go on and on about the importance of life as opposed to the importance of "money"... But in an attempt to make this post short and readable, I'll stop here. :o)
More feedback is appreciated!
If you ever read my blog (this is not a desperate attempt for readers, btw, just saying), you will read about a conversation I had with a girl from Nigeria where she offended me greatly by telling me that some people eat to live, rather than live to eat. As much as I hated the way she stated that to me then, I think it applies now. Work is simply a means for you to better enjoy your free time away from it. If you think of experiences that you have away from work as having an established value, some of the richest people in the world are those with the smallest bank accounts. They actually spend their time living, rather than accumulating money to 'live better'. Sure, I have people tell me that I need to get a job, and quit 'wasting away', but I have found myself thinking more clearly than I ever have before. Hell, I found out that I really enjoy writing, and started a blog of my own. When you are ready, you will go back to work... Ready being defined as mentally, or out of monetary need ;)
Ironic that we must make money to eat, yet we also eat to be able to make money. A philosophical conundrum, perhaps?
More like I worry about what I can do for a living with my major...Politics. UCSC changed their Political Science degree to Politics. It's the exact same thing, just a matter of semantics. They feel that Politics is more inclusive of the study of our daily lives as citizens. Whatever. What I'm studying is Political Science.
So, back to the matter at hand. I can't say I have any idea what to do, I'm sorry to admit. I am curious however, what line of work are/were you in that required 60+ hours of work each week?
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Cool! I get to kill two birds with one stone here!
To answer your question Matty D, I was taking care of a disabled elderly lady with Alzheimer's. While it wasn't always a physically demanding job (although, she did try to stab me with a pencil once or twice... lol,) the mental part of it was extremely exhausting most of the time. The 60+ hours were because I was willing to work overtime without your typical overtime pay, 24/7...
Which leads me to your comment, Noer. Your Nigerian friend said it all! (That is, if she wasn't merely commenting on the American problem of obesity. {{chuckle chuckle}} Bad joke, I know.) If you think about it, we are pretty spoiled. But that's not a bad thing, as long as it's something you appreciate, instead of expect. Never be offended by someone's truth, just try to understand where their truth is coming from. In many countries, people are working themselves to death just to be able to eat, and take it from someone who has "be there, done that", it even happens in this country.
Thing is, unless I'm misunderstanding the message there, it really doesn't apply. I loved my job. To the point that I didn't even consider it a "job", I loved my job. I know that's where some of my depression is coming from. I miss my "Miss D". And, I feel guilty at letting this happen, even though there was no way I could stop it.
Back To You Matty D:
Don't be so quick at saying you don't know what to do, Doll Face! I might be going back to school myself, and I'll be needing your word!
Just a little tidbit for myself because I figure nobody is reading this anymore anyway...
I chest has been Killing me the last few days and I just realized what is causing it, I haven't had a bra on (except for running errands) for 5 days now! Guess "the guys" are bigger than I thought, lol. Either that, or gravity is starting to take its toll... DAMMIT!
How the HELL could those 60's chicks live with burning their bras???
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I hope I'll never get what you are (were? sorry haven't been online for a while) experiencing, I love being useless, it's the best thing in the world, just lying around, watching tv, playing computergames, sleeping 15 hours a day (at least) ... god Im gonna miss it
LOL Evermore! Having a bit of trouble there? You know, just because it doesn't come up on the blog doesn't mean it doesn't get sent to my email. I had like 20 copies of this post! You seriously got my attention.
Anyway, I'm still trying to cope here. It might get a little easier with time, but for now...
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