Tuesday, September 28, 2004

My Butterfly

OK, I've been promising Jill for months now that I would mention this, so here it is!

There's a butterfly that has been stuck to my cars radiator for well over a year now. I'm not sure when I hit it, but the first time I noticed it there was around July or Aug of 2003. Big and colorful with lots of different shades of brown and shimmering greens, the butterfly was the kind you might see flying around in the garden on a nice summer day. Although I was a bit sad that I had killed it, I didn't bother cleaning it off because I assumed it would fall off on it's own. And at the time I didn't really care one way or the other, I'm usually not that sentimental about dead things.

I didn't think much more about it until the second time I saw it, which was in Sept of 2003. I remember the day well because that was when the butterfly really caught my attention. I was amazed by the fact that after being on my car for at least a month, it was still just as bright and beautiful as the first time I saw it. I couldn't help but wonder how long it had been there, stuck to the grill, before I noticed it that first time. Again, I thought about cleaning it off, but this time I didn't because I had kind of a sick curiousity as to how long it would hang on if left alone.

Over the next few months, I kept a close eye on it. I wouldn't normally be so concerned with the plight of a butterfly corpse, but during that fall, I find myself becoming more and more obsessed with it. Just how long would it be there? For a while, it was the subject of some pretty lively conversation. I also found myself becoming attached it, almost dependent. Looking at my car every day and seeing that my butterfly was still there was somehow comforting.

It wasn't until Dec that I started to notice some changes. My butterfly wasn't looking quite so fresh anymore. It was still big and bright, but if you looked at it up close, you could see that the wings were starting to tatter a bit around the edges and about half of its body had deteriorated away. Still, it was noticable when I happened to glance towards the car, so I didn't worry much about the little changes. It had become a permanent fixture in my life.

Assuming that it would always be there, I stopped watching my butterfly so closely for a while. I would look over occasionally, see it there, then go on with whatever I was doing. That was, until one day in early spring when I went to wash the winter salt off my car. I usually hand wash my car -if I wash it at all- but the car was too dirty, so I took it to one of those spray wash places. As I was rounding the front and getting ready to soap down the grill, I saw the bright color and stopped dead in my tracks. It actually scared me that I had come so close to just washing my butterfly away! I finished with the car, being careful with the front, and have only hand washed it once since then because I don't want to take any more chances.

This past summer, I paid a little more attention to my butterfly, wondering how the heat would effect it. It deteriorated a lot faster, but I don't know if that was because of the heat, or just time taking its toll.

It is now late Sept 2004, most of the butterfly is gone. It's entire body is gone and what's left of the wings is now a dull brown with no more green shimmer. Although, you can still see the black veins and a few specks of white clearly on what's left. It's sad to see, but still, I can't bring myself to clean it off. I'm sure it won't last another winter, so I've been checking on it at least once, if not several times a day, just to see if it's completely gone yet. Much like how you would keep an eye on a beloved pet that you know is dying. I guess I just feel as though I should be there for it at the end... Again.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

I did it...

I finally took the leap of faith and submitted a poem to poetry.com!

Keep your fingers crossed for me, please!

Tears in a Mirrored Window

You look into my eyes and you see strength.
You hear my voice and you know love.
But that strength and love are only mirrored images
Of what you hold deep within yourself.
What lies behind my eyes is a pain you'll never know,
And listen closely to my voice, you'll hear the sorrow.
Heaven forbid you should ever see through my mirror,
For what lies behind is a window streaked with tears.
So hold on to the strength you see and the love you hear,
Maybe it will give you hope to get through another day.
As for me, I'll sit here behind my mirror and dream
Of what it would be like on your side,
And only looking in.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

I Made Chili!!!! (What Not To Do!)

OK, so I'm not much of a cook. Hey, I never admited to being one. I'm the chick that blew up the stove trying to boil water, for goodness sakes! But today, my craving for some good chili got the better of me and I gave it a shot.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I always look for the easy way out when cooking. I'm not opposed to using cream of chicken soup and canned buiscuts to make chicken and dumplings. But some combinations should never be tried, this is one of them:

2 cans of Hormal chili (no beans)
2 cans of kidneys beans (chili style)
1 can of diced tomatos (any style)
1 can of tomato sauce
some chili powder (made sense to me)
quite a few shakes of the cinnamon (I've always heard that was good in chili)
couple shakes of sugar (what's cinnamon without sugar???)
lot o hot sauce! I like it spicy :o) Ouch!
salt and pepper to taste

Sounds tasty, doesn't it? Well it's NOT! It's actually pretty nasty, and I wouldn't suggest you try this at home. However, it will get you past that craving if you're having one. As a matter of fact, it'll make you never want to have chili again!

If anyone has a good recipe (and simulary simple) please let me know!

In other news!

I went to see The Forgotten tonight. I don't usually go to the theater, but my sister and mom talked me into this one. I'm a big horror flic fan, so when they suggested it, I said what the h*ll. It was pretty good! There were a couple heart stopping scenes (and I don't say that lightly) but the best one wasn't so heart stopping because they showed it in the previews. I'll never understand this tactic in advertising... Why show the Best parts of the movie in the ad? Wouldn't you rather keeps those parts for the people who actually go to see the movie? It's beyond me.

Anyway, I came home after the movie and watched an old ep of Monk and was just as entertained, so who am I to say?

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Blue Taffy

Say, does anyone know what flavor the blue Saltwater Taffy is? 'Cause it really doesn't taste like blueberry...

The Value of a Penny

You know, they say a penny isn't worth much, but have you ever had a really miserable day and been walking along and find a penny on the ground (heads up or course, tails up is bad luck!) It kinda makes ya feel better and maybe a little more hopeful. How much is That worth? Quite a bit, I would say.

So next time you have a penny burning a hole in your pocket, toss it on the ground and brighten someones day!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Egads, another new trick to learn...

This is my first post and I'm still trying to figure it out. Please bare with me!