Useless Trivia

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Hardly seems worth it.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Now that's more like it!

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
O.M.G.!

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
In my next life, I want to be a pig.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
Creepy.

I'm still not over the pig.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
Don't try this at home, maybe at work.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
"Honey, I'm home. What the....?!"

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
I still want to be a pig in my next life... Quality over quantity.

Butterflies taste with their feet.
Something I always wanted to know.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Hmm...

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
Okay, so that would be a good thing.

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
Wonder who was paid to figure that out?

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
I know some people like that.

Starfish have no brains.
I know some people like that too.

Polar bears are left-handed.
If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
What about that pig???

The Committee In My Head

I recently read this fabulous little book by Robert Fulghum called Maybe (Maybe Not): Second Thoughts From A Secret Life, and while it didn’t exactly live up to what I expected, it did help explain a lot of things that I've wondered about.

Well... ‘Explain’ may be overstating it a bit, ‘relating’ may be more appropriate.

Mostly what he does is tell stories about his life (btw, this is the guy that did All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten,) and they are some wonderful stories. -I could only hope to be such a great storyteller!- But what really caught my attention was in the first few pages of the book:

"Suppose that everything going on in your head in twenty-four hours could be accurately recorded on videotape. Your night dreams and daytime fantasies, conversations with yourself and appeals to the gods, the music and memories that float about, and all the loony trivia that ricochets around in your mind.

Suppose all this material could be played in a theater -with multiple screens and a multitrack sound system. A pretty sensational show, I'd guess. MTV, X-rated video, Science Fiction Theater, Harlequin Romances, CD-ROM, and the National Enquirer combined couldn't compete with what goes on behind the closed door of the secret side of our minds.

The operative word here is "secret."

Public lives are lived out on the job and in the marketplace, where certain rules, conventions, laws, and social customs keep most of us in line.

Private lives are lived out in the presence of family, friends, and neighbors who must be considered and respected, even though the rules and proscriptions are looser than what's allowed in public.

But in our secret lives, inside our own heads, almost anything goes.

We alone are answerable for what we think and do when nobody else is around or involved. Categories of "fact" and "fiction" are irrelevant in here. Are dreams true? Is what you imagine accurate?

Inside these tight boundaries of flesh and bone is a borderless jungle in which clearings exist. In these open spaces, there may be an amusement park, a zoo, a circus, a library, a museum, a theater, or a landscape stranger than Mars.

We refer to ourselves in first person singular -"I"- but inside, it's more like first person plural. Most of the time, my inner life seems like a ventriloquist act. A ceaseless dialogue between Me and my dummy. Oddly enough, the dummy is smarter than I am.

It seems as if my dummy and I have lots of company. There's quite a crowd in here with us. A child and its parents. A wise old person. A mechanic, demons, a fool, a scientist, comedian, musician, dancer, athlete, magician, professor; a Romeo, censor, police officer, fire fighter, and multitudes more. The population of a small town inhabits the landscape of these disunited states of myself. And the town meeting is always in session.

I can fully relate to the occasional stories in the tabloids about multiple personalities. This is not news to me. In the best sense of the word, I run an asylum-a safe refuge-in my mind. And it's not a problem. As long as I keep the shades drawn and the doors closed, and don't let anybody loose, all is well. As long as I'm firmly in charge of my secret life, the world sees me as sane and functional. Am I? Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Those who have closely considered the secret life -people like Freud and Jung- use metaphors to speak about the way we keep the secret life from causing chaos in personal and public life. They speak of "the gatekeeper," "superego," "monitor," and "inner parent".

My own metaphor is the Committee."

I couldn’t have said it better if I tried! And just to give you an example, half the committee in my head says not to do this post because people will think I’m a dork. The other half says that the people who read my blog already know that I’m a dork, so what the heck? :o)

My Education in Progress...

Could one of the most important lessons I learn really be just to replace the blown fuse?

I spent the ‘better’ part of my day IMing with Jenn... But then I spent the next 7 hours trying to figure out what was wrong with my car. I’ve been having problems with it stalling out on me for the last few weeks, and it has always been hard to start. Yesterday, it finally died.

So, after reading the car manual extensively, several trips to AutoZone, and replacing quite a few parts, I finally decided that there was either a problem with the air intake, or the fuel pump. And I was right (along with 2 mechanics, 1 ex-mechanic, and a few semi-knowledgeable friends,) there was a problem with the fuel pump ...

The damn fuse was blown!

Why none of us thought of the most simplest solution causes me to pause. (Actually, I can probably guess why the mechanics didn’t mention it, but that’s beside the point...) As soon as the hood was propped, we just assumed that it was a serious problem. We expected the worst, and worked back from there. The mechanics said fuel pump (expensive), I (and a few others) clung to fuel filter or MAS (something we knew), while others just said to clean up the ‘carb’ and air filter (fairly simple).

But I can’t help but think that someone who knew nothing at all about cars, would have just suggested checking the fuses. Before I knew what I know about cars, that’s what I would have suggested.

Now that I’m sitting back, relaxing because the problem is solved, I’m thinking about the importance of first opinions, second opinions, and deep thoughts. And for the first time in a long time, I’m beginning to wonder if delving too much into a problem may not be such a good idea.

You Can't Always Blame The Parents

OK, I’m so irritated that I couldn’t wait for a response, Fred. I’m sorry.

I am so sick of hearing people say, "You can’t always blame the parents." To me, that’s a cop-out. Why the hell can’t you blame the parents? Are these kids suppose to raise themselves? (And yes, I'm talking about kids, 12, 14, even 17 year old kids.) No. It’s a simple case of a person wanting to bring a child into this world, and then deciding that they didn’t want, or have time, or even know how to be a parent (in which case, you need to swallow your pride and get help. Help for you and your child.)

Kids aren’t that complicated, they respond to you (the parent) and their surroundings. It’s your job as a parent to pay a-fuckin-tention to what’s going on in their world and help guide them through it. If you’re not up to the task, then you shouldn’t have had kids.

(The only time I would not blame the parent is in a case of actual mental illness, but even in that situation, the parent should know enough to get help for the child long before it becomes a serious problem.)

It breaks my heart to see and hear about these troubled youngsters and to hear people so easily excusing the parents and saying "Well, you just got a bad apple, it’s not your fault." Children didn’t ask to be here, they were brought here. And though it may be tough to hear, especially if you have a troubled child yourself, the truth is the truth, if you’re not going to do your job as a parent, then you can’t blame the child. Period.

Sappy Can Be Good

I was teasing Jenn about watching a sappy movie the other day, but you know, sappy can be a good thing. I’m watching Searching For Bobby Fisher and it’s reaffirming something that I’ve known for a long time, but I may have forgotten. You can beat a person down in an argument, sports, any other aspect of life, with facts, skills, knowledge, conning... But you can’t win the war, if you’re only focused on the battle at hand.

What good is it to win, when the win holds no other value than to be the victor? Patience and guidance, open mindedness and the willingness to listen will not only win out, but it will give others their dignity and a sense of self respect that will encourage them to find their own way... Which benefits everyone.

I guess that’s why I’ve never understood sports or any other type of competition that doesn’t produce results. Life is too short to concentrate on being the best and not being a ‘teacher’, even if you're not sure of what it is you're trying to teach.

And I Thought I Was Being Bad!

I think this may be stretching it a bit, but...

Here's a pic of what Martin saw in the water stain:













"Upper left is a woman going down on a guy, upper right is couple in doggie position and you can now see the nun." -Martin.

OK, I can see the Nun almost too clearly, but that's an awlful lot of detail you went into on the couples having sex. I'm starting to worry about you ;o)

For Those Of You That Can't See It...

Don't make me point it out again!

New Link For Matty's Blog

I've Been A Baaaad Girl

I have no idea what I did, but obviously it was bad enough for God to take time out of His busy day to send me this little reminder in the form of a water stain on my T-Shirt:

(And just in case you're not seeing it, that's

Satan on my shirt! See the horns? See the eyeballs?

See the ever popular devil goatee?)

Of course, I don't know why He chose to send me this image on my favorite Mickey Mouse shirt -almost seems like a sacrilege to me- but hey, who am I to question the divine?

Was It Something I Said?

Twice, just recently, I’ve had fellow bloggers apologize to me because they thought they offended me.

I just don’t get it.

I mean, it’s nice to apologize if you suspect you’ve offended someone, but why did they think they offended me?

I feel secure in my little niche of the blogiverse, even when challenged. Otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about things that are close to my heart. Naturally, I would like others to feel just as secure.

I realize that not everyone holds the same opinions that I do, and that’s OK. It would be a pretty boring world if everyone agreed with me all the time. Not to mention, I would never learn a thing about other people. But like everyone else, I like to state my opinion, and if it’s something that I feel passionate about, I may even restate it several times until I feel I've been understood... And I expect the same from others if they feel as passionately as I do. (If they’re just talking out of their ass, it usually shows. Then it’s "on to the next subject".)

I guess I see it more as an on going conversation, and like most serious conversations, there are going to be elements that don’t always go over so well... It’s to be expected. The mind is a very complex thing, you just can’t expect it to be so one dimensional.

If it’s a matter of me going to far, or getting too far off of the subject at hand, on someone else’s blog, just tell me to shut the hell up. I won’t be offended. Heck, I do the same thing if it happens on my own blog. It’s just a sign to let the other know that we’re not going to see eye to eye on that particular subject, and it’s time to let it drop.

Is that a bad thing?

Should I be apologizing more often?

Does this happen all over the bloggin’ world? Or am I saying the wrong things? If so, how else can I word my opinions in a written conversation, and get it right the first time?

Morris Day & The Time

I've been watching quite a bit of VH1 Classics here recently, and one of the groups they've been playing a lot of is Morris Day & The Time. I can understand why this guy was so popular, he is such a hoot!

I think that's one of the elements I miss most about 80's music, so much of it was just about having fun and being goofy. I've learned a lot of good lessons from the music I listen to, and I think the 80's taught me one of the best: You can't always take yourself and the rest of the world so seriously.

In Other News!

I think I have at least one of the kinks in my video editing worked out. I can finally get the video on my computer using Showbiz, but it still won't let me edit it. I'm guessing that it probably is some sort of conflict, but I can't find where that conflict is. The system says everything is fine, but Showbiz keeps shutting down every time I start messing with the video. I've uninstalled and reinstalled it, but it didn't help. Any ideas???

Also, now that I have a video (just a music video) I would like to put it on my website. Do you know how I would go about doing that?

Before the Newness Wears Off...

I just have to say, I LOVE my new .mp3 ("RCA Lyra" a cheap ipod knockoff) player! It isn't much, 128 mg with a SD slot (which I think is invaluable,) for only $50! The thing has already saved me the price of a new car stereo and any new CD players. Plus! I don't have to bug the drivers or people around me! My music is my own, unless I lose myself and start singing out loud...

I don't mean to sound like a commercial, but it's probably one of the best buys I've ever made... (Forgive me for that whole cell phone fiasco! I don't know what I was thinking, I don't even like phones!)

I just hope it doesn't wear out before I get my 50 bucks worth. :o)